Most swingers, kinksters, and folks who love a sex club will have a small “go bag” ready to rock at a moment’s notice. While you are definitely putting time and thought into your outfit, take a few minutes and put some time into your go-bag. It can really tip the scales from a good night to an amazingly perfect night!
Here’s what I recommend:
● A small luggage lock
● Condoms, lube, disposable cock ring
● Baby wipes
● T-shirt and hoodie
● Yoga pants
● Band-Aids for blisters or rug burns
● Flip-flops
● Eyeliner for touch ups
● Chapstick
● $20 in single bills
● Hair ties
● Breath spray
Nearly all clubs are BYOB.
While some clubs have a strict no alcohol policy (this is more common in fetish and BDSM clubs, but not unheard of in sex clubs), the vast majority are BYOB. This generally has to do with zoning regulations with liquor licenses, so come prepared. If it’s BYOB, most clubs will have mixers and cups provided free of charge, but it’s expected to tip your bartender. You’ll want to stay hydrated anyway, so that’s where that cash comes in handy for tips. It’s the right thing to do.
If you’re going to drink, I recommend low ABV vodka. It’s usually just fine mixed with something, and it won’t leave your breath stanky and gross. (For this reason, avoid red wine and stout or IPA beers. Though delicious, they’re very gross to taste secondhand.) It will also allow you plenty of social time without accidentally getting too drunk. A little social lubricant is fine, but clubs will show you the door if you start getting too tipsy.
Most clubs have lockers or a safe space to put your stuff.
They won’t be large lockers, but most have small gym-style lockers for you to put your wallet, keys, purse and phone. I keep a small luggage lock in my bag just for peace of mind. But also, some spaces don’t have lockers, the lockers may be taken, or the lockers might not be the highest quality, so use your judgement. This isn’t the night to be carrying around wads of cash. (Except what you’re using to tip your bartender.)
You will not have your phone on you.
Since all phones these days have cameras built in, sex clubs have a strict no phone policy. There’s usually a space near the entrance, out of eyeshot of anything interesting where you can take calls if you need to, but for the most part, you will not be reachable while you’re there. You absolutely must be reachable, most clubs will allow for smart watches, but that’s really it.
Bring condoms, lube, and toys.
A good club will provide condoms, but if you know there’s a specific type you like, bring it! This is especially pertinent to folks with dicks that might be a little above average and prone to breaking condoms or sensitivity issues that require a higher quality condom. A good club will provide lube too, but it’s pretty rare to see single serving lube packets and more common to see larger lotion-size bottles with hand pumps. If you’re cool with the pump, go to town! If you have a specific kind you like or an allergy at play, just bring your own.
Most clubs won’t provide toys, so if you need a vibe or cock ring to get off, bring it with you! It’s a sex club. No one will bat an eye. My partner and I bring a literal suitcase full of kink instruments and it’s fine.
Cock rings are often the unsung heroes of sex clubs. Play around ahead of time in a less high-stakes environment, but for a lot of people, just a cheap flexible cock ring is enough to override nerves and shyness.
Most people wear lingerie or sexy outfits under their street clothes.
While some folks at sex clubs will have missed the memo on this (and yes, I am being hella judgmental here and do not apologize for it), you SHOULD dress sexy for a sex club! While you don’t always have to adhere to theme nights, try to wear something you wouldn’t normally wear.
Maybe for you, that’s a nothing-to-the-imagination body con dress. Okay! Maybe that’s lingerie. Hell, maybe it’s pasties and go-go boots. Personally, my style is lingerie and a too-short-for-public skirt that I toss aside when the time comes. It’s up to you. At the very least, try to look like you’re dressing to impress.
But if you’re taking the subway, the bus, or a ride share, it’s totally okay to wear an “outside layer” that you shed when you get there. That’s why they have lockers.
Remember the cab ride home or the late night diner.
You started the night feeling hot hot hot. Now it’s three in the morning and you either need to be face-first in fries and Gatorade or in your own bed. No shame! Even sober folks get end of the night blahs in a big way after a sex club. And it makes sense— you’ve had heightened experiences, sensations, and visuals all night long. You gotta decompress!
Whether you’re calling a ride or driving yourself, there’s no reason to walk-of-shame back home. Throw in a comfy outfit for the end of the night into your bag. My favorite is a pair of velour sweatpants and sweatshirt, or if it’s deep in summer, a spaghetti tank. Stripping off a PVC fetish wear skirt and slipping on soft pants is a pleasure unlike any other.
Flip flops are better than sex.
Oh my god. Truly, the deepest pleasure of a sex club is at the end of the night, taking off your sky-high heels and slipping on a pair of flip flops. I cannot begin to describe what a glorious feeling this is.
Packing a pair of flip flops or ballerina flats safeguards you for a few options. The first being the night that you’re totally vibing with someone else at the club, you are ready for a long haul late night, but your feet can’t stand another minute in your sexy heels. While you’d obviously rather keep rocking your fuck-me heels (that’s why you wore them!), it’s really nice to have Band-Aids and flip-flops to keep your toes happy and keep the night going.
The second, and my favorite, is the beautiful tradition of going to a 24-hour diner after a sex club. Fewer things are more fun than eating pancakes and eggs with your partner or your brand new friends. The feeling of slipping off heels and slipping on the sweet foamy comfort of flip flops while eating carbs is a high like nothing else.