I Got an Awake BBL and Girrrl...

As the culture continues to embrace surgical enhancements and the conversations around them become more transparent, surgeries like the Brazilian Butt Lift or BBL seem more attainable, diluting very real risks no matter how they are performed.

About a year ago, I underwent an "Awake BBL," keep reading for a breakdown on my journey and feel free to drop a comment with any questions.

Matching With a Doctor

As with any major surgery, doctors prefer patients to be under a certain body mass index or BMI. I was a tad over and would have had to lose weight to undergo what I’ll refer to as a “traditional” Brazilian Butt Lift, done under anesthesia.

I instead opted for an “awake” BBL with 360 lipo — a procedure where fat is taken from the abdomen sides and back and transferred to the butt and hip area. “Awake” procedures are just what they sound like, the patient is awake and alert, but numb. (More on that later.)

Awake BBLs vs. Traditional BBLs

For me, the awake surgery option was about more than my high BMI, I’ve never been placed under anesthesia and thought the numbing would be a better option and less scary. The awake option also boasted a much shorter recovery time, no drains, and very minimal scarring. All things that were on my "ideal surgery wishlist."

Here’s a little rundown of some key comparisons:

Pros: Faster recovery, no BMI limits, no anesthesia

Cons: Less fat can be removed, more expensive

The Experience

While I was numb for the procedure, there were still twinges and little shocks that make your body jerk almost inadvertently, this is a MAJOR issue since the vibrating straw/scapula thing could pierce your organs if you don’t lie perfectly still. Again, it's nearly impossible to lie completely still, the movements are involuntary.

I also learned AFTERWARD that not everyone numbs the same and having never had any surgery or cavities I didn't realize that my body doesn't take to numbing very well. This is an important piece you don't know until it's happening.

Despite my best attempts, I was having a lot of involuntary movements during surgery which extremely frustrated my doctor. She reprimanded me multiple times during the procedure which only amplified my anxiety, which I think deserves its own paragraph.

Anxie-tea

I’d like to think I have the standard amount of Millennial onset anxiety, but during my surgery it was absolutely awful. My theory is although I was numb, my mind was very much aware of what was happening and at one point I was just sobbing and bracing for death. :(

As a huge proponent of cannabis for healing, my doctor had also advised me to “come high,” something I should have ignored as well and might have contributed to the anxiety although I tried to only buy products that promised a relaxing effect.

Going Rounds

To get my desired effect, my doctor recommended two surgeries since there’s a limit to how much fat can be transferred at one time. We spaced the surgeries two weeks apart and my dumb ass thought, “Well, the second round can’t be as bad as the first.”

WRONG.

I felt like I was being sawed in half and tried to stop the surgery a few minutes in. Unfortunately that's not something they can do since the numbing fluid is already inside and has to be removed. It was awful.

The Recovery

My surgery experience only fueled my desire to have the best results to make the pain worth it. I didn't sit on my butt for 4 weeks, then my post surgical masseuse suggested 6 weeks, I think I did a full 8 all in.

I got my messages weekly. I wore my faja anytime I wasn’t in the shower. I either sat on a pillow or lied on my stomach. I followed all the rules. And truth be told my results are pretty good, I’m happy I did it but I certainly would have opted for the anesthetia if I had to do it again. (Which I still might.)

The Haunting (sounds very movie-ish)

At a year post-op, sometimes while lying on my stomach my mind will drift back to the surgeries and can feel my palms sweating. I hope to NEVER have to endure anything like that ever again, no ass is worth it. (But mine comes close.)