Reporting Live From Raya: A Little D*ck Energy Cesspool and Veritable No Man’s Land

Note: I am a cis woman and this post comes from my POV with dating apps and dating men only. It definitely does not accurately address the nuances different genders and identities experience. For the sake of keeping it real I’ll limit this post to my personal experiences, acknowledging that it’s probably a drop in the bucket of the overall bullshit within the dating world.

What was once regarded as an elite, members-only playground for the rich and famous (read: entitled) has become more inclusive in recent years. The gilded gates of Raya have since cracked open to include creatives, people with cool jobs and the like.

By the time I was approved I had forgotten I even applied. I literally had a multiyear relationship in the interim thanks to Bumble, a crowd-pleasing dating app that forces women to initiate contact first. (A tactic that weeds out creeps but allows men the safety net of laziness to sit back and calculate their “responses.”)

To my friends, Raya is the Holy Grail and somehow better or more refined than other apps. No. No, girl.

Somehow, some way, Raya has become worse than other apps, and worse than meeting people IRL. A virtual Hollywood scene bar where instead of everyone silently sizing you up, they match with you and never speak.

Even with a generous ten day window, these seemingly sensible actors, rappers, producers and the like leave you in Raya-ical purgatory. No hi’s no bye’s, just a match and the satisfaction of the mutual attraction. It’s not just me, many people call out this weird match and dash in their bios and about me sections. (Ya hear that Mom, its not just meee!)

I’ve had a couple Raya dates which were by no means prestigious. It's the same toss up as any other app, tbh. To add another layer, the same accounts keep popping up in my algorithm. Have I really seen ALL THATS OUT THERE? Are THESE the fish? Is THIS the sea? Well damn.

Save yo money, save yo time. Stick to the ancient methods: go to a car wash, walk around Target, go to a hardware store.